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Lesson 24 Exercise

Exercise Questions:

Imagine how you would use your volume and the pitch of your voice and the speed at which you’re vocalizing to communicate to your partner, “Yes, I like that. Do that more” by only using the words “Ah-uh” and “Yes”.
(10 Seconds)

Imagine how you would communicate more and more pleasure using your volume through a moan.
(15 Seconds)

Use a series of words, three or four times, switching words with each one, and play with it by combining words with your volume, pitch and speed.
(15 Seconds)

If you are to get special permission for a weekend or for an evening to just do anything you wanted to literally unleash your passion and your fantasy and your creativity, what are the bold and the naughty things you might want to do or characters you might want to play or things that you might want to feel?
(30 Seconds)

What are some fantasies that you might want to play out with your partner? Perhaps, they’re the classic student-teacher, cop-convict, boss-secretary, stranger-prostitute variety or perhaps at something from your personal history that no one else might understand, but would actually be quite titillating for you.
(30 Seconds)

What’s the quality of sex that you’d like to be having with your partner? What kind of satisfaction do you want to feel from your sex?
(30 Seconds)

Think about really abandoning ourselves to that experience of pleasure and sharing that nearly overwhelming sensation with our partner in a way that they can really see and feel us feeling it.
(30 Seconds)

Lesson 23 Exercise

In Lesson 23, I outlined three flavors of attention that build romance for the feminine:

The Princess seeks adoration,
The Queen seeks reverence and
The Goddess seeks worship

I also outlined three flavors of approval that build romance for the masculine:

The Hero seeks appreciation,
The King seeks respect and
The Maestro seeks trust

Exercise Questions

Take 30 seconds and just imagine ways that you can demonstrate your adoration for your Princess. How can you show her that you’re putting her first and investing your time and energy and courage into making her dreams come true? How can you make her feel adored?

And if you’re a woman, write down some things he could do that would prove to you that he’s demonstrating that. 30 seconds

Take 30 seconds and imagine appreciating him for the heroic things that he’s doing in a way that he feels like he’s being appreciated. Allow yourself to accept the gifts that he’s giving and express your appreciation to him, even if he’s got a long way to go.

So, what are some things he’s doing right and heroically and how can you express that to him in a way that he feels your appreciation.
30 seconds

Take 30 seconds and imagine being at cause for giving her reverent attention and providing her with what she wants and needs preferably BEFORE she asked for it. Imagine exercising that muscle.
30 seconds

Let’s take 30 seconds and have you imagine offering your Queen a menu of choices, and then paying very close attention to her responses. Could be about dinner or nice activities or what you’re going to do over a weekend.

Don’t stress about it. The truth is: Any menu is better than no menu.
30 seconds

Take 30 seconds and think of all the little points that you can give your man, your King, so that he feels competent and powerful and respected by you.

What are some things he’s doing right that you can give him points for?  And how can you give him those points in a way that makes him feel like he’s a good boy?
30 seconds

Take 30 seconds and think of some times when you’re able to read your woman’s nonverbal responses and guess what is that she really wanted. In my experience, all men have these kind of experiences. They just haven’t necessarily thought of them this way.

Where have you been tuned in to what your woman wants in a way, that you can offer it to her before she asks? Take 30 seconds and think about those kinds of experiences.
30 Seconds

Take another 30 seconds and imagine getting really good at reading your partner. Imagine putting your full skillful attention on her in a way that encourages her to blossom. Take 30 seconds and imagine this.
30 Seconds

Take 30 seconds and imagine trusting your partner so much that you can tell him the truth about what you like and what you don’t like, real-time.

Imagine that he has your best interest at heart and that he wants to and is capable of learning how to unlock your secrets. How might you go about demonstrating that kind of trust in him?
30 seconds

Lesson 21 Exercise

Getting Good at the Dance of Romance

Exercise Questions:

This form is designed to assist you in going through the exercise AS YOU LISTEN to the audio of the exercise. It is NOT a substitute for listening to the exercise. I expand and deepen the ideas in the Lesson in the audio of the Exercise. PLEASE listen to the audio of the exercise in full, and use this to write down your answers. OR, you might want to read through the transcript CLICK HERE as you listen, instead of using this worksheet.

—-

Exercise Questions:

Make a conscious choice that you are going to get good at being romantic.
(10 Seconds)

Choose which relationship you’re going to be using for these exercises.
(10 Seconds)

Think about what your partner actually said they wanted or indicated that they wanted.
(30 Seconds)

What are the things that you have done in the past, whether accidentally or intentionally, that your partner expressed enormous appreciation?
(30 Seconds)

Why is your partner special to you? What do you love about them?
(30 Seconds)

Think about an instance when you had been insensitive about an issue important for your partner.
(30 Seconds)

How can you create the condition that will allow your partner to share their vulnerable side?
(30 Seconds)

Think about how your partner can experience that both of you are part of a team?
(15 Seconds)

Think about the things that your partner thinks are fun and enjoyable.
(30 Seconds)

How do you think you can ask your partner about what they want and what will make them happy?
(30 Seconds)

Set a schedule on your calendar about when you are going to plan on carrying out a 60-minute activity of giving to your partner what they want.
(15 Seconds)

What is it that your partner can do to make you feel special?
(30 Seconds)

Think about a couple of areas where you feel vulnerable to share something but you really love to have it shared. Think about the times you want to Feel Understood and Accepted.
(30 Seconds)

What can your partner do to make you feel like both of you are part of a team?
(30 Seconds)

What do you enjoy doing that you want your partner to provide you support with?
(30 Seconds)

Make a choice and commitment to teach your partner how they can make you happy.
(15 Seconds)

Set a schedule on your calendar about when you are going to plan on carrying out a 60-minute activity that will teach and train your partner to give you what they want.
(15 Seconds)

Lesson 22 Exercise

The Power of Polarity: Leveraging The Masculine/Feminine Dynamic

Exercise Questions:

To read the full transcript with worksheet, CLICK HERE.

This form is designed to assist you in going through the exercise AS YOU LISTEN to the audio of the exercise. It is NOT a substitute for listening to the exercise. I expand and deepen the ideas in the Lesson in the audio of the Exercise. PLEASE listen to the audio of the exercise in full, and use this to write down your answers. OR, you might want to read through the transcript CLICK HERE as you listen, instead of using this worksheet.

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Exercise Questions for those who identify more as feminine:

NOTE: If you identify more as masculine, put yourself in the shoes of your partner and do the exercise from their perspective.

Think about a time when you really made your man feel like he had won you. How did you treat him and how did you respond?
(30 Seconds)

Think about a time when you have made him wrong and made him feel like he’s losing you with you. How did it feel like and how did he respond?
(30 Seconds)

Think about a time when you made him wrong. Imagine how you could do it over and make him right and have him win. Find something that he did right and have him win for it.
(30 Seconds)

Re-do the last exercise. Think about a time when you made him wrong (same or different example as above). Find something that he did right and have him win for it. How does having him win change his attitude?
(30 Seconds)

Exercise Questions for those who identify more as masculine:

NOTE: If you identify more as feminine, put yourself in the shoes of your partner and do the exercise from their perspective.

Think about a time when you were actively trying to make your woman happy. What did you do and how did she respond?
(30 Seconds)

Think about a time when she got really mad at you because she didn’t think that you were taking sufficient care of her emotions and desires. How does it feel like when she’s not happy with you?
(30 Seconds)

Re-think of your previous example about a time when she’s not happy with you. Take a deep breath and choose to be at cause.
(10 Seconds)

After making the choice to be at cause, go back to the situation and imagine placing your full skillful attention on trying to make her happy. Notice what you notice.
(30 Seconds)

Again, imagine being in the previous situation, making the choice to be at cause and putting your full skillful attention on her happiness. But this time, imagine she is playing emotionally hard to get. Despite that, imagine staying at cause in the face of her being challenging.
(30 Seconds)

Lesson 20 Exercise

The 5 Keys of Thriving Partnership

Exercise Questions:

Take a moment to remember just what it felt like to really enjoy being with your partner. Just choose one time where you actually had fun with your partner and let’s take a little bit of time to remember what that felt like.

So take 10 seconds look back into that brain of yours and think of a single specific time you had fun with your partner.
(10 Seconds)

Let’s begin by getting back into the experience of that you can feel it.

Let’s take 15 seconds and I just want you to remember where you were what you are doing and the body posture that you were in when you are having fun.
(15 Seconds)

Now take another 15 seconds just to go back and we feel what it actually felt like in your body at that time.

See what you are seeing here what you are hearing and read the way you were breathing as best you can.
(15 Seconds)

So much so that let’s have you remember other experiences you had fun with your partner.

You know we she just really enjoyed being with them and doing something with them whatever it was, again 10 seconds to come up with another experience of fun go excellent and again, where were you.

What were you doing what was your body posture like and what did it feel like go back and relive that experience for 15 seconds.
(15 Seconds)

The easier it is to remember and the easier it is to remember it the more fun you have and yes I am going to say it the more the more so this time I want you to remember three more experiences wanted a time 10 seconds each where were you.

What were you doing and how did it feel real quick.

Just relive that 30 seconds total 10 seconds each memory get ready, get set, go and move onto the next memory and again on to the next memory all right now.
(30 Seconds)

take 30 seconds and write down some ideas that you been thinking about average you been thinking about on about how you can bring a little joy and humor and happiness to your partnership and him.

I have several ideas or one big idea with details whatever it is take 30 seconds and write them down.
(30 Seconds)

Now I want you actually plan to make one of those events happened it doesn’t need to be some big elaborate thing but then would you do it.

How it should fit in your schedule what would it take actually make that happen take 15 seconds and write down a rough sketch for realistic plan to make that happen.
(15 Seconds)

What’s the quality of partnership in teamwork that you really want to have with them.

Again, be on the daily concerns and issues that you’re caught up in currently what’s the kind of partnership that you would like to have if you had a magic wand and you could just make it be that way.

How would you like to be take 30 seconds and put some words to what that might be like for you.
(30 Seconds)

What do you want for yourself and for the partnership through having that that’s even deeper and even more important, what is it that that teamwork makes possible.

Again take 30 seconds and put some words to this.
(30 Seconds)

What does that make possible for you and for your partner and for the partnership what is it that you really want through that teamwork.

Again take 30 seconds and put some words to this.
(30 Seconds)

Now let me ask you, if you really have that even deeper experience. If you’re really feel that how it already feeling that God made you act towards your partner and had that even deeper experience how which you think about them.

How which feel towards them.

What is it that you want them to know that you want to communicate to them so that they really got it take 15 seconds and just feel that and think about that.

How do you really want to be with your partner 15 seconds.
(15 Seconds)

What is it that the teamwork makes possible and again yes of course intimacy in depth involves sharing your vulnerable truth feeling understood and feeling accepted and discovering your partners vulnerable truth then having them feel understood and accepted absolutely and yes creating agreements that facilitate that in the form of rules or however you want to do it is certainly of valuable if not crucial step to make it happen.

But I mean beyond the structures are ideas that were talking about why do you care what the experience of all of that is ultimately in service of for you.

I mean, let’s say that you got what it is that you really wanted from your partnership what is it that you experience.

Let’s take 30 seconds and just feel our way into that question, let’s go into the experience beyond the words and allow some words to bubble up in the face of it, whatever they are take 30 seconds to explore whatever that is.
(30 Seconds)

let’s take 30 seconds and just consider are you open right now to unleash your hearts desire just a little bit more are you willing to risk wanting what it is you want and feeling vulnerable in that way to create the possibility of actually having it.
(30 Seconds)

The question becomes what he didn’t do with that how you can that translate that into some type of action that makes an actual difference in your life in your partnership.

Again, let’s take 30 seconds and write down something that you’re going to do to bring this insight into your actuality to take responsibility for using your reason to shape reality 30 seconds how you can use this.
(30 Seconds)

Lesson 18 Exercise

Love: Falling in, Being in and Telling your love story

Exercise Questions:

Let’s start from where we are to create the partnership we want. That includes forgiving ourselves for whatever fantasies we have cultivated up till now – from here on out were going to deal with reality and build from there.
So, take 30 seconds and just tell yourself and then, accept what you’re telling yourself that you are forgiven for any fantasies that you might have told and whatever disillusionment that you might have created. Take 30 seconds and do this. Now.
(30 Seconds)

 

 

Now, let’s take some time to focus on what’s right. Let’s start with what’s right with you in partnership. What are some of the good things about you that you bring to the partnership that bodes well for love and intimacy, and teamwork and fun. What’s right about you? take 30 seconds and write down a number of things that you bring to the partnership which are good for the potential of love.
(30 Seconds)

 

 

Now that we’ve begun to make you right. It’s time to make your partner right. Instead of focusing on what your partner doesn’t bring (or what they bring that you don’t like), let’s focus on the good things that they do bring (or the things that they don’t bring that you’re glad that they don’t bring)! Take 30 seconds and list out some of the gifts and talents and awareness and desires that your partner brings to the partnership that bode well for love.
(30 Seconds)

 

 

You can compare yourself to other partnerships that suck see can be glad that that’s not happening. Again take 30 seconds and list out some of the really good things in your partnership
(30 Seconds)

 

 

Next, let’s take 30 seconds and just list out the most common ugly stories that you tell about your partnership so you can learn to recognize them and STOP TELLING THEM! Take 30 seconds and write them down.
(30 Seconds)

 

 

Next, – practice the fundamental story of romance.
“At some point I made the decision that I was going to give it everything I have. I worked to build a thriving partnership. From that point forward, I did the work that was necessary — and eventually my partner got inspired –until together we created the love that we always wanted. We are so proud of the work that it took for us to get there.”This is a love story that is worth getting good at telling.
So take 30 seconds and just tell some version of that story that speaks to you.
(30 Seconds)

 

 

So again let’s start by learning to recognize the victim stories.
So the we can stop telling them take 30 seconds and write out the most common victim stories that you tell in your partnership. Get them out of your head and on paper.
(30 Seconds)

 

 

Take 30 seconds and tell a story about how you’re going to honor which you think and what you feel and what you want in partnership with your partner
(30 Seconds)

 

 

So let’s tell a story about how you stand for your partners integrity in the partnership. Tell a story about how you honor what they think and what they feel and what they want
(30 Seconds)

 

 

Tell a story about how you’re getting better and better at respecting one another nonverbally — presuming that they’ve got good intentions, you just need to find out what they are! (so that you can work together to make REALize them). Take 30 seconds and tell stories about positive intentions.
(30 Seconds)

 

 

Take 30 seconds and imagine using the YES, DEAR conversation and the Synergy Process to take issues that perhaps would’ve been challenges, and turn them into the foundation on which you build a thriving partnership
(30 Seconds)

 

 

If you’re telling a story in which you don’t fall deeper in love — your first step is stop projecting a future in which you feel isolated and unfulfilled is telling a lead story — you won’t be surprised to hear me say “don’t do that.”
So let’s take 30 seconds and get any of those non-realization leave stories out of your head and on paper we can learn to recognize them. take 30 seconds and write them down.
(30 Seconds)

 

 

Instead tell a story that although you had your rough patches some hard work encourage you eventually came through it into love. So take 30 seconds and tell a story about your partnership in which in the and you grew closer and deeper and more intimate where you learn to know each other in ways that no one else knows
(30 Seconds)

 

 

 

Lesson 19 Exercise

Red Zone Practices

Exercise Questions:

Practice “Shaking it out.” If you’re sitting down stand up, and then simply shake out every part of your body for 2 to 3 seconds.

Try it again, but turn it up a couple notches. Get how full engagement in this really can change your state.
(15 Seconds)

Stretch and prepare for 5 seconds, then run in place or other vigorous exercise to energize your body. Get winded. Do this vigorously.
(30 Seconds)

Practice controlling your breathing. Try breathing in and out as hard as you can for 7-10 seconds, then take 3-4 deep long breaths, breathing in and out slowly and relaxed.
(30 Seconds)

Take a moment and imagine if you were to bring the optimal thriving story that was built in reality and use our best reason and took responsibility and demonstrated respect so that you could realize what’s possible that would be like? How would you think and feel and what would you want IF you have that optimal story?

Imagine what it would be like if you really had that story.
(30 Seconds)

Imagine that optimal state again but this time I want you to notice some things about it. How are you breathing when you’re in that optimal state that optimal story? What’s your posture like? what’s your internal voice tone like? What your belief or certainty that you’re headed towards a future of thriving that’s hopeful?
(30 Seconds)

Combine it with the movement exercises we were doing earlier to show you how it actually plays out when you want to use this with artistry and grace.

Think about a situation where you were starting to get emotionally upset with your partner about something so the we can practice interrupting that state and bringing in the optimal story. A 3-4 on a scale of 1-10.
(15 seconds)

So we’re going to shake it out and then take on the physiology take on that optimal story and she’ll have a fit together. Stand up shake it out for 2 -4 seconds, then sit back down and get back into that optimal state bringing back your breathing bringing back your posture bringing back your voice tone and bringing back the vision of the future.
(30 seconds)

Imagine first interrupting your state and shaking it out taking on the optimal story and then inviting your partner into a right-right, win-win, Yes D.E.A.R. conversation.
(30 seconds)

Imagine that you’re upset with your partner. You recognize that it is too intense.
Imagine interrupting your pattern getting your head back and calling for a Director’s Chat.
(30 seconds)

If changing your own state and inviting your partner into a better state is enough to give you breathing space so that you could really hear your partner–instead of calling for a Director’s Chat you could offer them a Soliloquy Space.

Imagine offering your partner Soliloquy Space.
(30 Seconds)

Now imagine that you’re actually going to interrupt your state invite your partner into a partnership state and then assuming that they have the capacity, request that they hold the soliloquy space for you.

Imagine your partner offering you a Soliloquy Space.
(30 seconds)

Lesson 17 Exercise

Artistry in Intimacy, Cleaning the Glass

Exercise Questions:

Re-presence a relationship that you want to have more intimacy, love and teamwork.
(5 Seconds)

Think of some issues you want more love, happiness, teamwork around – more thriving.
(30 Seconds)

Imagine choosing one of those things and sharing vulnerably with your partner. Imagine throwing it over the glass – you are trusting them to catch it. Imagine throwing it with care – throw it where they are – in language they can understand – but throw it.
(30 Seconds)

Imagine not sharing it with them – splat on the glass. What is that like – how does it impact how you relate to them? How does it impact your presence?
(30 Seconds)

For your eyes only, just to consider and think about:
Think about something you have on the glass with your partner. Something you haven’t shared and you know that you haven’t shared.
(10 Seconds)

What is something in your partnership that you’d love to be different but you have given up on changing. Make a list of issues that are “on the glass” for you.
(60 Seconds)

Look through this list and choose one of these issues to work with. 3-4 on a scale of 1-10.
(10 Seconds)

Imagine being in your partner’s presence and something reminds you of this issue. How do you deal/react when the subject is brought up in your partner’s presence? How does it change your presence, your feelings of intimacy/closeness?
(30 Seconds)

Typically we each have a strategy for dealing with something “on the glass”. How do you avoid the issue? distract? ignore? avoid topics?
(30 Seconds)

Are there topics you avoid because they might lead to the “on the glass” topic you are avoiding? What else does this impact? How does it spread virally?
(30 Seconds)

How do you justify (to yourself) why you are not sharing this thing?
Some reasons are centered on your partner – how does their behavior justify you not sharing?
notice that…
(30 Seconds)

Imagine actually sharing this issue with your partner. Are there steps to take before you share that thing? What “practices” would you want it place before you share it? What experiences would you want under your belt? (Yes D.E.A.R.?)
How might you prepare the partnership to help integrate this share?
(30 seconds)

Imagine preparing the ground to share this issue.
Start by setting a right/right context between you and your partner.
(30 Seconds)

Imagine requesting that your partner presuppose positive intention and that you will do the same and setting this as a context for the conversation.
(30 Seconds)

Imagine setting a context and the intention to create a win/win agreements.
(30 Seconds)

Imagine sharing the thing you haven’t shared. Share for understanding – accuracy.
(30 Seconds)

Imagine sharing the thing you haven’t shared, this time sharing for understanding the beauty.
(30 Seconds)

Imagine listening for their response and making sure they feel understood and accepted for their response.
(30 Seconds)

Now that you have “cleaned the glass”, If there are amends, re-commitments or renegotiations to be made, co-create them. How can you use this conversation to refine your agreements to better express the synergy of your two integrities?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine thanking them for going on the ride with you and truly understanding you in an empowering and inspiring way. Let them know how powerful and important that is. Tell them how appreciative you are and what that means for you and your partnership.
(30 Seconds)

Let’s go through those steps again on a different issue

Rinse and repeat with same partnership mid-level emotional intensity

Lesson 16 Exercise

The Game of Intimacy, Soul to Soul – Rules 4-6

Exercise Questions:

Rule 4: I will honor the privacy of what my partner shares with me.

Choose a relationship that you want to play a Game of Intimacy. Imagine sharing something really vulnerable with them.
(5 Seconds)

What if your partner kept that think mostly private. Contrast that with the idea of them keeping it totally private.
(30 Seconds)

Rule 5: I will understand and accept my partner

Imagine your partner sharing something truly vulnerable. What might they share? how might that feel?
(30 Seconds)

Notice the difference between what they are sharing and who they are. Imagine clarifying the difference between who they are as a person, and what they think, feel or want.
(30 Seconds)

Notice how easy it would be to shame them. Imagine making the choice consciously not to shame them.
(30 Seconds)

Imagine listening to what your partner has to say, and try to really understand it from their perspective. The more accurate your understanding the more you can really share the experience.
(30 Seconds)

Move beyond understanding and into beauty. Find the positive human desires in what they are saying.
(30 Seconds)

Nothing untrue can be truly beautiful. Illusions might be fantastic, but they do not create beauty.

Rule 6: I will share my vulnerable truth with my partner.

(Level 1-No lying, Level 2-No illusions, Level 3-No hiding)

Explore your relationship with lying. What are some things you have misrepresented with your partner?
(30 Seconds)

What haven’t you said, that had the effect of your partner mis-understanding reality. Where have you fostered illusions?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine being face to face with your partner? What is something you are afraid to share or have given up on them knowing this about you.
(30 Seconds)

Choose one from this list that is a 3-4 on a scale of 1-10
(10 Seconds)

Imagine making the choice to share in the face of you fear/hesitation.
(30 Seconds)

Imagine asking your partner to listen to a share in a way that they understand and accept you.
(30 Seconds)

Clarify the difference between understanding the accuracy of your share vs. understanding the beauty of what you are sharing.

Imagine sharing vulnerable and listening to whether they are accurately understanding what you have to say.
(30 Seconds)

Imagine sharing vulnerable and listening to whether they have a beautiful understanding what you are sharing.
(30 Seconds)

Take a moment and imagine thanking you partner for going on the ride with you and hearing what you had to say.
(15 Seconds)

Lesson 15 Exercise

The Game of Intimacy, Soul to Soul – Rules 1-3, Responsibility and Respect

Exercise Questions:

Choose a relationship that you want to play a Game of Intimacy.
(5 Seconds)

What is something you want to do in that relationship but have not been doing? Make a lists of a few desires.
(60 Seconds)

Choose a medium level desire to work with.
(10 Seconds)

What do you want through having this desire that is even deeper and more important. Explore the deeper meanings of your desire.
(30 Seconds)

Imagine doing what you want to do. What might you say or do with your partner?
(30 Seconds)

How do you imagine your partner might respond? What have you been afraid might happen? Notice your imagined partners response and your response to their response.
(30 Seconds)

Imagine initiating a Yes DEAR conversation around this issue now.
(60 Seconds)

Imagine hearing your partner’s concerns and exploring their emotions around the thing that you want to do. How can you honor their response and get access to the underlying boundary issue so you can build win-win agreements?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine that the conversation has a lot of emotional upset to it. Imagine using the rule as incentive for you to do “the coaching.”
(30 Seconds)

Repeat this process around the second rule:

What is something that you have been doing that you don’t want to do? Make a list of examples.
(60 Seconds)

Choose the example that you want to use for this exercise.
(10 Seconds)

What is it that you don’t want to do? What is it that you want through having this? What are the underlying boundary issues?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine not doing what you don’t want to do? What might that look like?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine not doing what you don’t want to do? How do you imagine that your partner might respond? How would you respond to their response?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine generating and managing a Yes DEAR conversation.
(30 Seconds)

What is it that your partner wants through their reaction that is even deeper and more important?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine that the conversation has a lot of emotional upset to it. Imagine using the rule as incentive for you to do “the coaching.” Imagine stopping yourself and asking if this is a broken rule or an unspoken rule and going into the Yes DEAR process.
(30 Seconds)

Go through these questions again on and issue from RUle 1 or Rule 2:

Choose is something that you want to do or you have been doing that you don’t want to do?
(30 Seconds)

What is it that you do/don’t want to do? What is it that you want through having this? What are the underlying boundary issues?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine doing/not doing what you don’t want to do? How might you communicate this? What might that look like?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine doing/not doing what you don’t want to do? How do you imagine that your partner might respond? How would you respond to their response?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine generating and managing a Yes DEAR conversation.
(30 Seconds)

What is it that your partner wants through their reaction that is even deeper and more important?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine that the conversation has a lot of emotional upset to it. Imagine using the rules as incentive for you to do “the coaching.” Imagine stopping yourself and asking if this is a broken rule or an unspoken rule and going into the Yes DEAR process.
(30 Seconds)