Is your relationship headed for
Our culture is messed up. Too much change, differing values and expectations, inherited patterning.
We have no training. We weren’t taught this in school, in fact, no one ever taught most of us how to deal with the challenges of modern relationships.
I implored with Darrel to take action now, before it is too late. “Don’t let this all-too-common slide into suffering happen to you.”
He agreed, and added that if he doesn’t make it work with Melody, his secret dread was that he would just do it all again with the next person.
I gave him my card and he said he would certainly call me, he just needed to check in with her about it.
When Melody showed up in my office.
Their relationship had been moving slowly, but steadily downhill until she ended up here…devastated.
She woke up one day and realized that, despite everything she had tried, her once-blissful relationship had been shattered. Her whole world was turning upside down and she had no idea what to do. She felt like she was on the edge of a relationship abyss — with the idea of breakup relentlessly pulling her over.
On the one hand, she felt a searing heartache that felt like it was going to tear her apart. On the other, she felt numb and empty.
She stared at me in shock. She couldn’t believe I asked her that. Melody cried and asked for an explanation. I just looked at her with care.
As she took a moment to think about it, she remembered the hours she had spent discussing the issues with a friend who was convinced it was Darrel’s fault, not hers. She had come to believe that their history of pain, suffering and conflict seemed like an impossible burden to carry, and she would love to just put it all down and simply walk away.
But her heart felt broken at the thought of losing what they had and she didn’t really want to let it go. She was just hopeless and couldn’t see how to make it work.
She realized that she owed it to herself and her future daughters and sons to change this pattern and break this cycle forever.
I asked her, “Is this pattern going to change on its own?”
She answered slowly, “No.”
“It’s time for you to commit to master the game of relationships” I told her. “I am here to help you, and this will happen fast, but it all relies on YOU and what YOU are going to do right this moment.”
“Do you really want to dig deep and fix this once and for all? It’s simple really. Make the choice that you will learn what you need to learn. Get on the path and take this course to Create Thriving in this and all of your relationships.”
The people who fail at relationships, fail because they they never take the truly hard action it requires to truly thrive:
The action to change their mindset. To tap into the power they have to make a difference, to get on track, to get good at partnership.
The irony is that taking this action is actually a relief. It is the NOT choosing that causes the agony and despair.
Is this pattern going to change on its own? No.
I took her under my wing and taught her the essential steps on how to save her relationship with Darrel. Walking piece-by-piece through The 5 Keys of Thriving Partnership, Melody started to think clearly, make new choices, and feel confident about her new skills.
Day by day, step by step, in only a few months Melody was applying the tools and strategies I gave her. She learned so much about herself and the tangible things she could do, even when her husband was unresponsive. Bit by bit, the barriers were broken down.
She found words to describe what she REALLY wanted with Darrel. She recognized opportunities to build common ground with him and took them. Things started getting easier, momemtum began to build, and true hope started to dawn.
The small breakthroughs got bigger and stronger. Melody was getting her old spark back … and Darrel was responding by getting inspired to give his best to her, to open his heart to her.
They started to talk, really talk, in a way they never really had before – sober, profound, not like the pollyanna way they had in the beginning, but really understanding and accepting each other and figuring out how to work together in a way that worked for both of them.
It wasn’t like they no longer had any conflict, in fact, a really big one erupted when this new way of being was fresh for both of them. Melody had a total flip in the way she handled it compared to the past. She found herself doing things that at first seemed counter-intuitive in the face of his anger. She avoided her first instinct to beg, blame or be a victim, and to let go of the anger and frustration.
She knew she wasn’t going to sell herself out anymore so she felt safe. She could actually listen to what he had to say and find a way forward — in partnership.
Their marriage became stronger and better than it ever was before! Their problems literally became the solutions!
The next time I saw them together, they were wtaring at each other with renewed energy and love, hand in hand, laughing and smiling at each other…like a honeymoon couple!
And the Sex? Well, a gentleman never tells. And, the look in their eyes said it all.
That’s good! Now it’s time to act and create the relationship you want! You might not be as far gone as Melody and Darrel, or you might be past that, already divorced but having to “get along” to manage child custody and parenting. It sounds crazy, but I know I can make the same great results happen for you and your relationship.
Be honest with yourself, what do you want to do? Do you want to save your relationship? Or are you really just done and just looking for my blessing to end things?
Because if you want to turn your relationship from Suffering to Synergy, here is what I want you to know.
You can do it. You are worth it.
You deserve a happy, healthy relationship. You are never too old or too tired to give a marriage or partnership new life! It may sound too good to be true, but there are no impossible situations, only more complex ones.
You are not the first person who has told me they can’t do this. I have heard almost every excuse in the book.
Not only is this possible, it’s predictable. There is hope. It isn’t as scary as you might think. All you need is a little guidance and slowly but surely, we will have you planning for the future instead of living in the past. It’s not magic, although it sometimes seems that way.