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The Game of Intimacy, Soul to Soul – Rules 1-3, Responsibility and Respect

Exercise Questions:

Choose a relationship that you want to play a Game of Intimacy.
(5 Seconds)

What is something you want to do in that relationship but have not been doing? Make a lists of a few desires.
(60 Seconds)

Choose a medium level desire to work with.
(10 Seconds)

What do you want through having this desire that is even deeper and more important. Explore the deeper meanings of your desire.
(30 Seconds)

Imagine doing what you want to do. What might you say or do with your partner?
(30 Seconds)

How do you imagine your partner might respond? What have you been afraid might happen? Notice your imagined partners response and your response to their response.
(30 Seconds)

Imagine initiating a Yes DEAR conversation around this issue now.
(60 Seconds)

Imagine hearing your partner’s concerns and exploring their emotions around the thing that you want to do. How can you honor their response and get access to the underlying boundary issue so you can build win-win agreements?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine that the conversation has a lot of emotional upset to it. Imagine using the rule as incentive for you to do “the coaching.”
(30 Seconds)

Repeat this process around the second rule:

What is something that you have been doing that you don’t want to do? Make a list of examples.
(60 Seconds)

Choose the example that you want to use for this exercise.
(10 Seconds)

What is it that you don’t want to do? What is it that you want through having this? What are the underlying boundary issues?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine not doing what you don’t want to do? What might that look like?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine not doing what you don’t want to do? How do you imagine that your partner might respond? How would you respond to their response?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine generating and managing a Yes DEAR conversation.
(30 Seconds)

What is it that your partner wants through their reaction that is even deeper and more important?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine that the conversation has a lot of emotional upset to it. Imagine using the rule as incentive for you to do “the coaching.” Imagine stopping yourself and asking if this is a broken rule or an unspoken rule and going into the Yes DEAR process.
(30 Seconds)

Go through these questions again on and issue from RUle 1 or Rule 2:

Choose is something that you want to do or you have been doing that you don’t want to do?
(30 Seconds)

What is it that you do/don’t want to do? What is it that you want through having this? What are the underlying boundary issues?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine doing/not doing what you don’t want to do? How might you communicate this? What might that look like?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine doing/not doing what you don’t want to do? How do you imagine that your partner might respond? How would you respond to their response?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine generating and managing a Yes DEAR conversation.
(30 Seconds)

What is it that your partner wants through their reaction that is even deeper and more important?
(30 Seconds)

Imagine that the conversation has a lot of emotional upset to it. Imagine using the rules as incentive for you to do “the coaching.” Imagine stopping yourself and asking if this is a broken rule or an unspoken rule and going into the Yes DEAR process.
(30 Seconds)