Lesson 11 – The Yes D.E.A.R Process

The Yes DEAR process and the Declare step

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Your Task: Listen to this audio and take notes on key points and insights, then proceed to Exercise 11
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In this session, you will:

  • Learn to honor your emotions by honoring the message they are offering.
  • Learn about the 4 key in Thriving Partnerships, Respect, or evolving partnerships.
  • What The D.E.A.R. Process is and how to use it in your relationship.

Yes D.E.A.R


The first step in this process is the word yes. Saying yes to this conflict rather than no.


Declare that you want to find a win-win solution to this conflict by understanding the underlying boundary issues.

Is this emotional upset in response to a broken rule or an unspoken rule? What do you think is happening and what does your partner think is happening?


Using the motivation of the emotion to understand its message.


Making amends if your actions have done damage to the container of the relationship.

Recommit or Renegotiate

Refining our agreements about what the relationship is and how we are going to treat each other.

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