Lesson 9 – The Journey to Interdependence

The Journey to Interdependence

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Your Task: Listen to this audio and take notes on key points and insights, then proceed to Exercise 9
Share your Stories! If you find anything you really love in this lesson, please note it in the comments section below.

In this session, you will:

  • Examine one of the interior factors that can stop us from speaking our authentic truth.
  • Look at the nature of shame and self esteem.
  • Look how self-esteem relates to dependence, co-dependence, counter-dependence, independence, and interdependence in relationship.
  • Learn to use your inner guidance system to take optimal responsibility for your integrity.
  • Recognize the hesitation and the cost of this hesitation in making authentic choices.

Dependence, Co-dependence, and Counter-dependence

What is psychological Dependence?

Whenever we give someone else the authority to judge the value of our person we create a relationship of psychological dependence.

Our sense of self is dependent on the other person. Our ability to get their approval becomes a central factor in our relating.

We adapt to the person we think that they think we should be. We bring our mask to the relationship not our me.

If we want to create Thriving Partnerships, we need to learn to recognize and take responsibility for our dependence when it arises.

What is psychological Co-dependence?

While dependence is finding our value in other people, co-dependence is finding our value through other people’s dependence on us.

We are giving up our own values in order to achieve someone else’s values.

This gives us a sense of power and importance in that person’s life. We also get a sense of moral value and superiority.

What is Counter-dependence?

Independence and Interdependence

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